


Devil's Den

by troublesomedragon



Category: Lucifer (TV), Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesiac Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Heavy Cursing because we spend time in Dean's head, Implied Sexual Content, Lucifer is Team Prophet, M/M, Mentions of Deckerstar, Mentions of Sam's past that reference past abuse, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Sam winchester is not Cas's favorite and it shows, hot mess continuity wise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:48:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29350716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troublesomedragon/pseuds/troublesomedragon
Summary: In which Dean travels universes to get his angel back and a Castiel suffering from amnesia tries to figure out if this Righteous Man is into him or if he's fooling himself
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. Hell's Favorite Angel

_Hell's Favorite Angel_

If you told Dean a year ago that one day he would willingly enter a nightclub owned by the devil, he would have called you crazy, taken a swig of his beer and walked off. Yet, here he is waiting in line to enter some dumb club the devil opened for kicks that’s probably nothing more than a glorified drug den. To make matters worse, Sam is totally not on board with his plan to go in guns a blazin to rescue their angel. Yeah, he’d done some dumb shit, but he’d more than made up for it, and Dean had gone and left him in the damn psych ward as if no one would take advantage of a half-insane angel. 

Though to be fair, how could he have possibly predicted Lucifer 2.0 kidnapping Cas in the first place? In fact, why would the devil care enough to even arrange such a thing? He has to be plotting something, something big. Of course, Sam is giving him the look. He silently waits for his lil bro to open his big mouth and let it all out. Sam sighs, almost reluctant to say anything, but unfortunately for him, he soldiers through.

“I know you think you owe him but-”

Memories overwhelm him like a tidle wave. 

_“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”_

He really should have realized he was well and truly fucked then. At the time, all he felt was fear and trepidation but now-

_“My superiors have begun to question my sympathies. I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You.”_

Too close, too close, always too close to him. Why did the goddamn liar have to prove the angel dicks right about that? 

_“I always come when you call.”_

It is about time he returned the favor. 

“We’re not leaving him here,” he snaps. 

Sam shuts his mouth and that is that. 

Lucky for them, they clean up nice and have the right look to get waved into the club fairly easily. He’s glad Lucifer doesn’t seem to know their faces because he’d prefer to avoid breaking in after hours if they can help it, especially when they don’t really know what the devil’s deal is in this world. He regrets misplacing the Colt now, holy water and Devil’s traps aren’t going to cut it. At least, Sam still has Ruby’s knife neatly tucked away in his jacket. 

“And now, introducing Hell’s most beloved angel, Castiel to the stage! ”

Dean’s brain short circuits as Cas confidently struts onto the stage with dazzling prismatic wings. He suddenly has the urge to fall to his knees and comb his fingers through Cas’s feathers and never ever let the angel go. It only gets worse when the angel starts to sing ‘Somebody to Love.’ His angel is about half way through the song when Sam shakes him lightly to snap him out of it. 

“I’m sorry, what?” he asks, only half paying attention. His eyes want to go back to Cas, to his wings. The hunter part of him realizes something's off, but he really can’t help himself.

Cas is the one holy thing he’s ever believed in, and for some reason, the sight of his wings hits him like a truck. He wants to forget the lies, the pain, the treachery. He wants to believe again.

“I asked around while you were busy drooling. Lucifer is up there in the balcony sitting next to a guy that . . . kind of looks like Superman for some reason.” 

The mention of Superman is enough for him to look up. And yeah, the giant beefcake next to the devil definitely looks like a Clark Kent type. In less dire circumstances, he’d introduce himself, even if the guy gives off total wet blanket vibes. Dean’s always been charming and has a knack for getting people like that to loosen up a little, just look at Cas. It takes all his will power not to fix his eyes on the angel again. He’s not sure he’d be able to look away this time. Instead, he narrows his eyes at the carefree devil enjoying the show, all tempting smiles and expensive drinks. 

Eventually, the devil notices him and has the gall to wave. He says something to the miserable dude next to him, and the guy shuffles off. He beckons them over, still all sinful smiles and party boy attitude. He and Sam share a look, silently deciding it's worth the risk. They reluctantly follow the devil into his penthouse suite on top of the club. It’s about as classy as you’d expect from a man in a well fitted suit. It’s strange to see pieces of obelisk used as support beams in what otherwise looks like a typical penthouse. If he weren’t visiting the devil, he’d assume the ancient stone is no more than a good replica. The devil makes his way over to his impressive collection of alcohol and pours them each a glass of whiskey. Neither of them accept the drink, even though Dean desperately needs one after watching Cas sinfully belt out his desire for love to a bunch of horny strangers.

“I take it you’re here to see Castiel?” His tone is perfectly friendly, but he can tell the dude’s not happy about it. Sam frowns, probably thinking the same thing.

“Why’d you take him? Low on angels?” Sam asks. It’s a sincere question with none of the anxiety and fear that’s been plaguing his brother since the Devil popped into his head. 

He guesses that mostly has to do with the fact this isn’t the devil he knows.

“He asked me to,” Lucifer says as if he’s a good older brother that didn’t disintegrate Cas on sight last time they saw each other. 

It’s not the same devil, but like Hell, he’s going to trust his word after what they’ve been through with their own Lucifer.

“Bullshit,” Dean says. Sam shoots him a look telling him not to piss the guy off, but he’s not about to go easy on the devil. It doesn’t matter who’s face he’s wearing. 

They’re all the same in his book. All he has to do is figure out what sort of fuckery this one is up to and what any of it has to do with Cas. No way the angel he saw on stage is the same one he left in the psych ward. The devil has to have messed with his head somehow. He remembers himself broken and bloody as a cold Castiel holds up a gleaming knife. Dean swallows down his sudden anxiety.

Angels are stupidly good at turning one of their own into something they’re not. Lucifer’s preferences are simply different from Naomi’s if he had to guess. 

Something about the look on his face makes Lucifer stiffen, and the devil ends up feeling the need to justify his actions to him. It’s pretty surreal to see the devil looking sheepish. 

“Granted I wasn’t the first name he called, but I was the one who answered. Do you know how loud you have to be to be heard across dimensions?”

Oh, that’s rich. The devil’s judging him now. He may not be perfect, but what did he expect him to do? Take the broken angel with him? (He kind of wishes he had.)

“You shouldn’t have bothered. He was safe,” he says instead.

Lucifer sees through his bullcrap and snorts.

“Oh please, Castiel was miserable and out of his mind. I got him some clothes that actually fit him, and helped him come to his senses, your welcome,” he says, taking a shot from their untouched whiskeys. 

“Call me crazy, but if he’s flaunting his wings and singing Queen in front of a bunch of normies, he’s nowhere near sane.”

He’s not familiar with this world, but he’s pretty sure showing off your angelic abilities in front of mortals who aren’t in the know is just asking for trouble. 

Lucifer rolls his eyes and drinks the last of the whiskey. 

“You’re just jealous Castiel is out here living his best life. It took you two a couple of weeks to even notice he was missing. The kid’s been with me for months,” he says dismissively.

“How is that possible?” Sam asks because yeah that’s some weird wibbly wobbly timey wimey crap he doesn’t wanna to deal with. 

“Timeline’s different here from what Castiel’s told me. It’s actually been a few decades since he’s popped in. I’d assumed Naomi had got to him again, and he’d find time to drop in when he finally snapped out of it. I do wish he’d just stay here, but he’s always been a stubborn one. ” 

Lucifer actually looks sad, and Dean can’t wrap his mind around it. Sam has it worse. He’s naturally empathetic and is tormenting himself as he tries to decide whether it’s wise to feel sympathy for this devil or not. Sam seems to come to a decision and steps closer to the devil with less suspicion in his heart and more concern. Stupid dumbass better not let himself get possessed. 

“Aren’t you worried someone will figure out his wings are legit? Angels are hard to kill, but it does happen.”

Okay, not a bad strategy, Sam’s taking advantage of the fact that Lucifer actually seems fond of his baby brother here. Lucifer scowls and pushes past them, heading for the elevator. 

“I’m perfectly capable of protecting my little brother, unlike some people. Now, if you excuse me, I have to figure out how to kill a cursed immortal man,” he says as the elevator doors start to close. Dean forces the doors open.

He’d struck a nerve, and Devil be damned. Dean is leaving with Cas one way or another. 

“Hold up, I didn’t give you permission to fuck off.”

The devil’s eyes flash red with the promise of Hellfire and torture, and Dean instinctively pulls back. He’s super not over his forty years in Hell, and the reminder kicks his PTSD into overdrive. Suddenly, he wants to be anywhere but here. 

Lucifer steps out of the elevator, refusing to let him retreat. Devil’s out to prove a point. 

“You seem to be under the false impression that this universe revolves around you. It does not. If you’re so desperate to be the center of attention again, go back home,” the devil says, jabbing a finger into his chest. The red eyed monster is inches from his face and practically breathes on him in disgust. 

Dean promises himself to never complain to Cas about personal space ever again. 

He’s saved by Sam who puts a hand on the devil’s shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. The fire leaves Lucifer’s eyes as he turns to face his brother. There is a tinge of regret on his features, and Dean curses, looks like this devil has a soft spot for his brother too. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that side of me, Sam. I know you’ve been through a lot. Angels are all about consent in your world until . . . they aren’t.”

Dean tries not to think of Adam. To this day, he can’t conceive of the boy saying yes. So, the only conclusion he can draw is that Michael took Adam as a consolation prize when Dean went back on his word. 

Sam’s guard if possible drops even lower at the sincere apology, and Dean definitely wants to get out of here as fast as possible. Unfortunately, their one Cas short of being able to take off. 

“Look Lucifer, I’m not your biggest fan, but you seem like a pretty reasonable guy in this universe. Can we at least talk to him? We’re just a little worried about him. He did disappear on us out of the blue.”

Lucifer sighs, looking defeated. 

“It’s your lucky day. He’s turned in early.”

“Why, hello there, you must be one of Lucy’s friends. I’m Castiel,” he says, holding out a hand. 

The angel’s eyes are all over him, and Dean feels goosebumps. 

For once, it’s super clear to him that the angel’s definitely interested, and he’s not sure how to feel about that. Everything seemed a lot easier when he was suffering from some sort of celestial brain rot at the sight of Castiel’s wings, part of him wants that certainty back. Without a better idea, he shakes the angel’s hand and introduces himself. 

“I’m Dean.” 

Great job, Dean. You managed to say two whole words. You’ll get the angel back in no time. 

He’s brain is a real sarcastic ass sometimes.

“So, what’s special about you? Lucifer’s been trying to set me up for ages. Can you see my true form? Are you especially pious? What do you think about the plight of bees?”

Dean suddenly feels inadequate and insanely jealous, but his brain helpfully reminds him that he has a title of his own. 

“I’m the Righteous Man.”

Lucifer tries hard not to laugh in his face. Sam just gives him a disbelieving look that says ‘Really? You’re going to flirt now.’ Dean simply grins and offers him a tiny shrug. So, he’s having a little fun with Hell’s angel before they snap him out of it. He doesn’t see the harm. Unfortunately, the next words out of the angel’s mouth nearly give him a heart attack and remind him that Cas has indeed been hanging out with the devil.

“Well, Righteous Man, would you like to go to my bedroom and fornicate?”

His eyes are sparkling and full of desire, but as much as he’d like to give in to the impulse and take Castiel up on his offer, he still has the devil to deal with. The devil who at the very least is guilty of introducing his poor wide eyed innocent angel to the highs and lows of hookup culture. 

“Just what the Hell have you been teaching my angel?”

Lucifer looks just as thrown as he feels. He raises his hands up in surrender, especially when Sam gives him a disapproving look. 

“I swear this is the first time he’s actually been interested. Normally, he’s like a deer in the headlights and ducks out before the fun starts, and I have to send the unlucky guy or girl home, or he just ends up staying up all night helping the poor boy or girl have an emotional breakthrough.”

The devil sounds exasperated, but Dean feels the tightness in his chest lessen. That sounds a lot more like the Cas he knew. Maybe, he’s still in there somewhere. 

Castiel tilts his head and squints, but for once, that puzzled look is not directed at him, and Heaven help him, he’s jealous that he’s not Cas’s number one right now. 

No, it’s his rotten luck that Castiel’s current role model is Lucifer. That’s bound to end super well. He’s not salty or anything. 

“Would you prefer that I leave humans to their pain?”

Lucifer shakes his head, wrapping his shoulders around Castiel, hopelessly fond. 

“Of course not, your candid and compassionate nature is why you’re a favorite of mine. If you want to play therapist for the night, feel free,” he assures him, and Cas gives him a little smile like he’s a good supportive big brother.

Dean wants to smash something. Everything about this picture is wrong. 

“Wait, Cas, you don’t remember us? ” Sam asks. 

And yeah, that’s probably something they should be asking, even if Dean’s already figured as much. He’s just not a hundred percent sure it’s due to brainwashing yet. 

“Should I?”

He does the little head tilt again, but he’s too angry to be taken in by its cuteness. 

“What the Hell did you do to him?” Dean says, because that has to be what happened right?

There’s no way the devil’s actually good. 

Lucifer rolls his eyes again like he’s a dunce who can’t pay attention. He wishes he’d managed to convince Sam to let him hold onto Ruby’s knife because he’s this close to punching the devil in the face and hurting his hand. 

“I told you his brain was scrambled so I unscrambled it. Salvaged the important bits and wiped the rest clean. Voila, good as new,” Lucifer says right in front of Cas who barely blinks in acknowledgement as if this is old news to him, like he doesn’t care. 

Dean hates the indifference on his face. He wants the angel to feel something.

“It doesn’t bother you, Cas? That you can’t remember?”

That someone might be missing you. 

He’s too much of a coward to say that part out loud.

Cas’s eyes soften and he strokes Dean’s cheek. He doesn’t pull away, savoring the small touch. It’s not like Sam hasn’t figured out what’s going on anyway. He has eyes. 

“I’m fine, green eyes. If I don’t remember by now, those memories couldn’t have been that important to me,” he reasons.

Cas obviously doesn’t mean to be cruel, but the words still hurt. He starts tearing up, because maybe, he doesn’t mean as much to the angel as he thought.

He’s a blip in the angel’s long and mind bending history, an unimportant, forgettable, painful chapter that he’s buried deep in his mind.

“I-I’m going to go. This-this was stupid.”

Dean runs away like a little girl, but like Hell, he’s going to stay and turn into a sobbing wreck in front of the clueless angel and his stupidly supportive big brother. Thankfully, the God in this universe is a little kinder, and Sam follows him out without a word. It makes sense that Sam doesn’t put up much of a fight. He didn’t even want to come here in the first place. 

The archangel that brought them here won’t be back until morning so they have some time to kill. Before they can duck out of Lux for the night, the bartender lets them know that drinks are on the house if the brothers want to stick around. As much as Dean wants to get as far away from this place as possible, he longs for the taste of alcohol more.

If he can’t bring his angel home, he might as well drink up. It’s a poor consolation prize but better than leaving completely empty handed. Sam shakes his head and grimaces, but dutifully, plays designated driver for the night and watches over him. He doesn’t expect the angel to return to the club in the middle of his drinking binge. 

“Hello Dean.” 

Just his fucking luck


	2. Give the Devil his Due

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lucifer is staunchly Team Prophet and Castiel is strictly Team Righteous Man even if he doesn't remember why

Give the Devil his Due

Why is it that every time he tries to connect to a human they end up bursting into tears? Castiel replays the conversation in his brain trying to figure out where he went wrong, but nothing in particular jumps out at him. He’s sure he did everything right this time. Dean seemed receptive to his advances and was obviously attracted to him. The guy had been staring at him all night, looking at him like he’d willingly fall to his feet and worship him. As blasphemous as the sentiment is, he can’t say he wasn’t flattered. 

When he’d disappeared from the crowd, he felt a strange compulsion to seek him out. After chatting with the bartender, he’d discovered that Lucy had invited two men upstairs. His heart jumped, more often than not, that meant Lucifer was trying to set him up with someone he found suitable. For some odd reason, he felt butterflies in his stomach when he discovered the guy he had his eye on was someone the devil approved of. He had a sneaking suspicion that life before Lucifer had been hard and that his angel family rarely approved of anything he did.

The man had been flirting, right? Then again, he hadn’t actually answered most of his questions. Maybe, he’d come on too strong, or Dean had realized that he had too much baggage for a one night stand. He hated himself for messing everything up. The feeling triggered something inside him, an echo of an unpleasant memory that he couldn’t begin to place. 

_“You’ve fallen in every way imaginable.”_

He didn’t used to believe it, but he knows somewhere deep down that he is not worthy of the kindness that Lucifer has bestowed on him. He’s done terrible things. He just can’t remember them right now. Every time he tries, there is a void so vast he can never cross it. 

If he’s honest with himself, Castiel is afraid to even try. 

“Are you alright? You’ve been staring at that elevator for a while now,” Lucifer says.

Cas bites his lip, still refusing to look away from the elevator. Maybe, Lucifer can clear things up for him. He’s always been better with humans.

Ironic, he used to loathe them. 

“Was it something I said?”

Lucifer smirks, pouring himself another drink. He’s surprisingly happy despite the fact that both his guests ran out on him without so much as saying goodbye. 

“Yes but also no, that guy is just an emotionally constipated baby. You’re better off without him.”

For some reason, the term baby sets him off like nothing else.

“Dean’s not a baby. Maybe, he can’t make someone explode with a snap of his fingers or say what he means, but he tries, dammit,” he shouts, eyes overflowing with cosmic energy. 

Two of the lamps in the penthouse break as the air crackles with electricity. 

Then, Castiel blinks, his anger leaving him. This isn’t the devil he’s mad at. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles to the sleek black tiles below him before finally daring to meet the devil’s eyes. 

“But I don’t believe anyone is ever truly helpless and doomed to give in to their worst instincts. Everyone is capable of growth and change. You of all people should realize that. ”

For once, Lucifer is speechless. He looks down at his empty glass, frowning as if debating whether or not to tell him something. Castiel stays silent, waiting him out. His patience is rewarded. 

“Cassie, there’s something you should know about our previous guests. They’re from another universe and so are you. In fact, you actually already had a crush on Dean, and boy, does it show,” he says, chuckling to himself. 

More fractured memories break through the void. They’re just as painful as the last one that managed to slip out. Maybe, the giant abyss is meant to shelter him from his dismal past. He wishes walls weren’t so easy to break. In some ways, this feels like karmic retribution. 

Shame he can’t remember why. 

_“You're angry. He betrayed you, this dude.”_

_“Was he your friend?”_

Apparently, Castiel has a penchant for amnesia. He’s talking about himself and doesn’t even know it. Dean is merciful enough not to say anything. The poor man seems resigned as he looks away. Maybe, he'd mistaken Dean for someone else in the crowd. 

Dean can’t possibly want him. He certainly doesn’t look happy to see him in the memory. 

The last line echoes in his head, haunting him. Were they ever friends? Was he just someone that had caused this man pain? He starts seeing his last meeting with Dean a lot differently.

_“Was he your friend?”_

Dean had come to the penthouse to visit Lucifer, not him. He’d finished his set early, eager to chase after him and stake a claim on the off chance the green eyed man had caught his brother’s interest after all. 

_“Was he your friend?”_

The man had rejected his advances and simply shown a polite interest in his welfare.

_“We didn’t part friends, Dean.”_

Dean had run away after Cas said that whatever he couldn’t remember didn’t matter. 

_“I deserve to die. I can’t possibly fix it. So, why did I walk out of that river?”_

He must have been truly awful. 

Maybe, he would be better off trusting the void and putting his past behind him.

His past is certainly ready to abandon him. 

“I see. Did they come here for retribution?”

Castiel can’t think of a better reason. If his other self was as terrible as his scant memories seem to confirm, he can’t conceive of a reality where that gorgeous green eyed man could possibly want him back. Dean must have simply lost his nerve when he realized he didn’t remember anything he did. Why else would he be so angry that Castiel didn’t recognize him? Not that he blames him for feeling cheated, there is no real point taking revenge on a blank slate after all.

“Heaven’s no, fairly sure, they came to take you back with them, not that they deserve you. You’re welcome to stay here and forget that wretched universe if you prefer.”

Despite Lucifer’s obvious disapproval, his wings come out unbidden, fluttering excitedly. His heartbeat quickens, sharing the same sentiment. They want him to come home! 

“Really? Then, why did Dean leave?” 

“I believe you hurt the simpleton’s feelings when you implied that the time you spent with him didn’t matter to you in the grand scheme of things. Of course, the idiot didn’t bother to explain himself.”

Cas reluctantly banishes his wings, unsettled by how much sense that explanation makes. Once again, he sees his meeting with Dean a whole lot differently. 

The Righteous Man had traveled across universes to find him despite all the awful things he had done. The sight of his wings had left him speechless and utterly mesmerized. From what he’d learned from Amenadiel, only the most devout humans reacted so strongly when faced with divinity. For anyone else, his wings were glorified props. Dean took one look at him and saw an angel worthy of his devotion. 

When they’d met face to face, he’d openly flirted with him and only became angry once he realized Lucifer had been teaching him things of a sexual nature. Dean had even called him his angel. Were they an item in his universe? Why wouldn’t he just come out and tell him if they were? He would have never insinuated Dean didn’t matter to him if he’d known that beautiful man had been part of the life he’d left behind. 

“Odds are he’s jumped universes by now. Oh well, his loss. Right Cassie? ”

Panic seizes him, and he’s halfway to the elevator before he can even think. He can’t let Dean leave without talking to him first. If nothing else, he’d like to apologize before he’s gone forever. 

The devil is not pleased. 

“Do you even remember why you like him?” he shouts as the elevator closes. 

“No, but I’m going to find out,” he says to himself. 

Whatever Lucifer may think of Dean, his choices are his own. 

No one will ever rob him of his freewill again if he has anything to say about it. His own words mock him from the void, all encompassing and vile. 

_Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it._

Cas has a sickening feeling that he shouldn’t be. He’s had his chance and ruined it.

The ride takes less than thirty seconds but feels like an eternity. He wishes he’d thought to fly out the balcony. Then again, he doesn’t want to encourage the rumors that he’s a real angel and blow his cover. Rainbow wings don’t exactly blend into the background. The club is unbearably crowded. He didn’t used to mind, but the hundreds of dancing bodies are in his way, and he needs to see Dean more than he needs the grace thrumming through his veins. 

Something inside him tells him to forget the dance floor and check the bar. Sure enough, he finds Dean at the bar with his face pressed against the bar top, clutching a cocktail. It’s one of the fruitier varieties. The tall man next to him looks at Cas in surprise. He recognizes him but can’t recall hearing his name. 

“Oh hey, Cas, I didn’t think we’d see you again tonight.”

As much as he appreciates the friendly greeting, he wants a moment alone with Dean. Cas is entirely uninterested in making small talk with this man. He gets another snippet from the void.

_“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.”_

Castiel decides to ignore the tall, moose like stranger and address his half drunk friend. 

“Hello Dean.”

Dean sits up abruptly, nearly falling off his chair as he scrambles to face him. His eyes are puffy, and the man is still a little misty eyed, but Cas can’t help the warmth that fills him at the spark of hope in his eyes. He must want this too. 

“What happened to green eyes?”

Castiel smiles, resisting the urge to flirt. The man is actually pouting. Perhaps, he’s drunker than he thought. 

“I found out your name,” he reasons. 

He can’t think of an endearment that could compare. There is no better feeling than having that name on his lips like a secret prayer meant only for the Righteous Man in front of him.

Dean doesn’t seem to see it that way. He grows more sullen. The man tries to order another drink, but Castiel subtly shakes his head at the bartender, and he is cut off for the night. He’d like Dean to remember this in the morning. 

Dean scowls, more than a little upset that Cas has taken away his preferred coping mechanism. 

“Shouldn’t you be singing to a bunch of drunk people right about now, Casanova?”

He picks up a hint of jealousy underneath the biting remark. 

Cas is sure that he used to be too oblivious to notice. He decides it's about time he corrected his mistake. He wraps his arms around Dean, and the man stiffens but eventually relaxes, practically melting into him. 

“I wanted to see you again,” Cas murmurs. 

“Why? Thought I wasn’t worth remembering,” Dean says, obviously bitter. 

Cas frowns into his shoulder as another fractured memory comes through.

_“What’s the matter?”_

_“You don’t think you deserve to be saved.”_

He’s suddenly frustrated. He may be an angel, but the man in front of him is divine, and he doesn’t realize it. He’s more holy than Castiel will ever be.

“I never said that. If anything, I’m surprised you think I’m worth retrieving,” he admits.

He tries to withdraw, half remembering the man is big on personal space, and he’s held onto him longer than what is probably appropriate. Dean grips his arm and keeps him in place. 

“Of course, you are, your Cas.”

It can’t be that easy. He-he did something. Something awful, more than once. 

_“I serve Heaven. I don’t serve man, and I certainly don’t serve you.”_

_“You're not family, Dean. I have no family.”_

He wants to cry as a tumult of emotions pour through him. Unfortunately, he remembers the man in front of him is not fond of Chick Flick Moments, and since he is not currently dying, it is probably best to keep his feelings to himself. 

“From what little I remember, we didn’t part friends, Dean.”

If possible, Dean becomes angrier than when Castiel denied him alcohol. 

“I’m not having a repeat of that conversation. So, you better remember the whole thing so we can take your sorry ass home,” Dean presses. 

The void is far too daunting. He’s not sure he wants to see the other side. Everything he’s ever tried to do for this man has ultimately ended in failure. All Castiel is good for is ripping away pieces of him: his Apple Pie Life, his faith, his trust, and worst of all, his family.

Coincidentally, he’s finally noticed that Sam was gracious enough to disappear into the crowd for a while. It makes him feel all the worse for ignoring him in the first place. 

“I can’t. It’s like all my memories are stored beyond a void that’s impossible to reach.”

That’s not quite true, but surprisingly, Dean doesn’t push. He swallows nervously, staring down at his hands securely holding onto Cas’s arms as if he’s afraid he’ll vanish with a flutter of wings.

He probably has on multiple occasions. 

“Kind of like a wall?” 

He nods, feeling guilty for some reason. 

“I suppose so. The things I do remember are incomplete and out of context. Can you fill in the blanks for me?” he asks. 

Castiel expects him to say no. The man doesn’t owe him answers, not after everything he’s done. The angel can live with not knowing if it will spare this man pain. 

Surprisingly, the man's grip on him tightens, and he agrees. 

“Sure, maybe, I’ll jog something loose. If not, we’ll kick Lucifer’s ass and politely tell him to give you back the rest of your brain.”

He ignores the threat of violence directed at his brother. Castiel is confident that Dean will not act on that impulse if he asks him not to. 

“Are we friends?”

He assumes this will be a simple question to answer that might clarify a few other aspects of their relationship he’s unsure of, but Dean blows up as if he’s asked him about the size of his genitals in public.

“What kind of stupid question is that?”

Oh, so, his first assumption was correct. If they were friends, they’re not anymore. He doesn’t bother to hide his disappointment. 

“So were not friends?”

Something flashes in Dean’s eyes that he can’t quite decipher before it’s gone. 

“I didn’t say that.”

That small admission is enough to snap the box of his heart shut before hope can escape. He presses himself closer to Dean, and the man’s breath hitches.

“So, we are friends?”

It takes a moment for Dean to collect himself. 

“I- We were yeah.”

The man lets him go, and Castiel takes that as his queue to remove himself from Dean as much as he doesn’t want to. He sits down next to him, determined to find out what exactly he did so he can give Dean a sincere apology.

“Past tense, so something must have gone wrong. Tell me, what did I do to betray your trust?”

Dean is suddenly more guarded than before, and Castiel can tell he’s choosing his words carefully. 

“I had complete faith in you, and you lied to me. You pretended we were still in this together while you went behind my back and put your faith in a demon, and it got you killed.”

The explanation is maddeningly vague, but he latches out to the part he doesn’t understand.

“But I’m still here,” he says, absently tilting his head and narrowing his eyes to try to find some clue of what happened on Dean’s face.

The man’s face softens for a moment.

“Lucky for you, you're God’s new favorite. He brought you back,” he explains. 

He’s sure such a statement would have once left him overjoyed. Now, he is ambivalent at best. From what he’s heard from Lucifer, being the favorite is rarely a good thing. On a whim, he decides he’d rather know if the man in front of him favors him or not.

“Am- Am I your favorite too?” He’s not sure he wants to hear the answer.

There’s something playful in his gaze, and he meaningfully takes a hold of his hand. Cas heart jumps. He can’t possibly be misinterpreting that signal. So, the Righteous Man’s answer completely catches him off guard.

“No, but you're a close second.”

Castiel tries his best not to look crestfallen. Maybe, the man in front of him is simply a terrible flirt. Of course, he’s found someone better by now. Hell, maybe, Castiel was never in the running, and he’s deluding himself. 

“Oh, okay. If I’m still your second favorite, does that mean I’m forgiven? I still don’t know exactly what I did, but I’m sorry, Dean. I can’t speak for the person I was, but I would never intentionally hurt you.”

He must have apologized wrong. The man’s crying now, and he knows deep down in his bones that this man would never willingly cry in front of anyone. 

“Yeah, I know, and of course, I forgive you, dummy. Everything you’ve ever done since you met me has always been for me. I couldn’t hate you if I tried.”

Dean wraps his arm around his shoulder and gives him the most devastating smile he’s ever seen. He wants so badly to sear a mark into his flesh and hold onto him forever.

Shame, he doesn’t remember why. Maybe, it’s about time he found out.

“So, don’t look so down about being second best. You’re family. It doesn’t matter how many times you fuck up. I'll always want you by my side.”

Castiel’s eyes widen a fraction as everything clicks. Perhaps, the issue is that they love each other in different ways. Since his memory is coming back to him in strange fragments, it will likely be a while before he can get a complete picture of what his life was like before Lucifer. He thinks it will be better to be frank and clear the air, even if he doesn’t like the answer he gets. 

“Thank you Dean. I have one more question.”

Dean seems to be in a much better mood now that they’ve talked things out. He throws a grin his way.

“Fire away, I’m an open book.”

Castiel can tell he’s lying, but he feels it’s impolite to point it out when the man is trying to be friendly. He only hopes that he’ll tell him the truth about who they were to each other. He has no other way of knowing otherwise. 

“Were we ever together romantically?”

The man lets him go and part of him regrets asking. 

“N-No, ‘fraid not, we’re buddies. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Castiel knew that was likely the case after that speech about family, but his heart still stutters, and he imagines his glittering wings begin to dull at the thought that the man he loves will never love him back, not in the way he needs. He must be a glutton for punishment because he decides he requires a more definite answer. 

“And that’s all we’ll ever be?”

Dean almost falls out of his chair again, but he’s there to catch him. His eyes are comically wide, and he swallows nervously. 

“Y-yeah, I guess so.”

The answer is not as definite as he would like, but it’s enough for him to come to a decision. His life with Lucifer is good if by no means perfect, and he’s caused this man enough pain. He’ll let him go despite everything in his being screaming for him not to. 

“That’s unfortunate. Perhaps, after everything I’ve done to hurt you, it would be better if I stayed here then. I can see myself being happy here.”

In a few decades, he thinks to himself silently. There’s no need to guilt trip the man. 

Dean finally succeeds in falling out of his chair. 

“What? No! You’ve gotta come home. You think I’d hop universes for just anyone.”

Castiel tilts his head and squints. The man seems to be a master of mixed signals. He decides to test the waters. Dean will never admit he likes him outright, but the man’s actions always give him away in the end. Just don’t ask him to list any examples right now, most of his past is under lock and key. He’s thankful for the tidbits slowly returning to him through some sort of supernatural osmosis that he suspects has something to do with engaging with the drunken man in front of him. 

“Lucifer did offer to set me up with a nice prophet. If I’m patient, he might even be able to find me one with green eyes. I’ve decided I like green eyes.”

Dean immediately narrows his eyes and stumbles forward. He grabs him by the lapels so they're only inches apart. Cas resists the urge to close the distance. 

“Listen here, you little shit if this is a ploy to make me jealous-”

“It’s definitely working. And as much as I would love it if my little brother fell in love with literally anyone else, seems like I’m stuck with you as a brother in law, ” Lucifer says, letting out a resigned sigh. The bartender helpfully hands Lucifer his favorite drink.

Cas rolls his eyes. Lucifer may be disappointed, but he’ll cope.

“Dean is better than you give him credit for, and I’m perfectly capable of handling things myself. So, what are you even doing here?”

Lucifer casually takes a sip of his drink and shoots Dean a derisive look. He still has a death grip on his coat. Dean lets him go and returns to his seat, all the while staring down the devil. Cas frowns, concerned by his maybe future boyfriend’s lack of preservation instincts. 

“I figured he’d screw this up. Which is kind of pathetic, when you’re such a sure thing, I haven’t seen anyone so head over heels since, well . . . me.”

Dean’s had it. Cas knows from experience he can’t handle this kind of scrutiny, not when it comes to his feelings. He’s about to ask the devil to back off and give them some privacy when Dean beats him to the punch.

“Look, if you could just butt out, we could-”

“Drag this out another eight years? Spare me, I don’t have that kind of patience.”

Cas stiffens, knowing exactly what the devil is about to do. The only question is whether or not he’ll stop him. He’s about to interfere when he gets the second half of the memory, the one that convinced him that he must have been evil incarnate. 

_“I deserve to die. I can’t possibly fix it. So, why did I walk out of that river?”_

_“Maybe to fix it”_

It takes all of Cas’s willpower to keep his wings from spontaneously bursting forth in front of all the bar’s patrons at the affirmation that Dean always wanted him back. The problem is he’s too stubborn to admit it on his own. So, he takes a page from the devil’s book and watches the chaos unfold in front of him. After all, he has plausible deniability. 

“So, tell me, what is it you really desire?”

“Cas, I want Cas. I don’t want to live my life without him. I hate it when he leaves me.”

He breaks into a smile. He wasn’t a hundred percent certain what Dean’s heart's desire actually was, but he’s pleasantly surprised to have his hopes realized. The devil is grinning too for entirely different reasons. 

“Well, there you go. I think you can take it from here Cassie. ”

He pats him on the back and leaves him to his affairs. Cas has a sneaking suspicion he’ll end up breaking into the poor detective’s home tonight to discuss the details of Cas’s love life in person. He shakes his head, silently chuckling to himself. Some people have no sense of personal space. 

Deep down, he knows he’s being a hypocrite, and it just might be a family trait. 

“Your brother’s a dick,” Dean mutters, refusing to look him in the eye.

He’ll have to fix that.

Cas pulls his chin up so the man will have to meet his eyes. He wants to dispense some serious wisdom that the man seems to have forgotten despite the fact that he’s the one with amnesia. 

“All angels are dicks, Dean.”

The words have the desired effect. Dean’s eyes light up with mirth, and he breaks into a laugh.

“Your memories are coming along nicely.”

Yes but also no, he doesn’t really want to talk about that now. As much as he enjoyed Dean spilling his guts to him, it was entirely involuntary, and therefore, less satisfying than he would have thought. 

“Do you really want me? ”

Some of the light leaves Dean’s eyes as he goes back to sulking. 

“What? The devil dragging it out of me wasn’t enough for you?”

“I want to hear it from you.”

Dean turns to face him, suddenly serious. He grabs him by the lapels again, and Cas lets him drag him forward, half expecting a kiss. He doesn’t get one, but the words Dean says are wonderful to hear all the same. 

“Cas, I’m taking you home. And so help me, if you run away again, I’ll keep dragging you back until you stay. I need you.”

_Cas . . . I know you’re in there. I know you can hear me._

_We’re family . . . We need you. I need you._

Castiel doesn’t remember what he was feeling then. He only remembers dropping the knife and becoming Cas once more because he knew exactly what those words meant coming from Dean. 

“I love you too.”

He doesn’t remember everything yet, but someday, soon, he will, and that’s enough for him. He already knows the most important thing. He loves this man, and he might have trouble saying it, but this man loves him right back.

“That’s not what I- You don’t even remember me,” he argues, thrown by Cas’s abrupt declaration. 

“Well, I remember that I love you . . . and bees, possibly cats,” Cas goes on, trying to relieve the tension by undercutting the confession.

It works. Dean scowls, looking almost disappointed by the botched confession. 

“Okay, you can stop.”

Cas decides it's his turn to be cheeky and keeps going. 

“And green eyed prophets,” he adds. 

He’s rewarded with a kiss. 

Strange, he knows it's not his first, but he’s sure that it didn’t compare to what he’s experiencing now. It is short but passionate and more than a little possessive. Sure, the man still reeks of alcohol, but he can’t find it in himself to care. Everything about the kiss is so very Dean, and this Righteous Man is all he ever wanted even before he was capable of wanting. 

“Shut up or I take back my forgiveness,” he mutters when he finally breaks the kiss. 

“I’m afraid that’s nonrefundable,” he says in his usual deadpan.

Dean looks so hopelessly fond for a moment that Cas wonders how he ever thought he was capable of leaving this man. 

“I missed you.”

“Of course you did, I’m a delight,” he snaps back. 

He must have gotten better at witty banter since they first met because Dean looks mildly shocked before he grumpily pushes him away. 

“Lucifer has made you into a narcissist.”

“He’s been working on boosting my self esteem,” he admits.

Dean looks down thoughtfully at his empty drink instead of saying something sarcastic. When he finally looks up, he’s rubbing his neck, looking a touch embarrassed. 

“You’ll never catch me saying it to his face, but Lucifer seems like a good guy. Well, as good a guy as the devil can be, I guess. I’m glad he was here to look out for you when we didn’t really know how to help. ”

Lucifer proves the old adage true and pops up behind them at the mention of his name. He idly wonders if Dean accidentally prayed to him, regardless of his original intent. 

“You’re welcome. I also took the liberty of putting Sam up in the Hilton for the night. So, you should be free of interruptions if you decide to take things further. ”

Dean gives the devil a dirty look, but the fact he’s blushing makes Cas think he might actually get lucky tonight. He keeps quiet in an effort to not ruin his chances. 

“And you didn’t think to get us a room?” he bites back sarcastically. 

Cas can’t help himself and decide it’s worth the risk to tease Dean a little. 

“Well, Lucifer and Sam do share a more profound bond, Dean.”

He instantly pales at the possibility, not knowing Lucifer is very much hung up on a certain detective who’s been making googly eyes at Cain recently, and that doesn’t even take into count whatever his brother and Cain currently have going on that involves half of Maze’s torture kit. 

“Now, you’re just trying to make me mad,” he huffs. 

He nods sagely before Lucifer can get into a panicked spiel about how he would never disrespect Sam’s boundaries after his trauma with the last devil he encountered. He’s not about to let his brother ruin the mood anymore than he already has. Cas takes Dean’s hand and drags him out of the bar to make new memories that hopefully won’t require an English degree to decipher should he ever lose them again. 

They don't leave with Gabriel in the morning. Cas is more than capable of bringing the Winchester's home at their leisure. He practically has to shoo his brother out of this universe before he causes untold havoc on the populace. He introduces them to Amenadiel and a few of his friends, including Chloe. After helping solve a bizarre case, that coincidentally involved ancient magical artifacts instead of the usual homicidal maniac, Dean pulls him aside.

"Lucifer and Chloe totally have a thing going on right? Like they're together together?"

Cas frowns, sensing that an overwhelming majority of their friends and acquaintances had assumed the same thing about them. 

"What makes you think so?" he asks.

"I have eyes, man. Are you saying that they're not banging? Like why? Their chemistry is off the charts. It's like they were made for each other."

Cas lips twitch, debating whether or not to let Dean in on Lucifer's existential crisis. He decides that he doesn't want to give Lucifer another reason to dislike Dean. 

"You have no idea."

Dean waits for him to elaborate, and when he doesn't, he shrugs it off. 

"We should give them a little nudge, least we could do after Lucifer helped us get hitched, even if I hate the way that dumbass went about it."

Cas nods, and Dean changes the subject, but the angel finds himself forming a plan. 

The next night he sings ‘I was Born To Love You’ to Dean before they head home, and it makes Lucifer uncomfortable for reasons that have nothing to do with either of them. He simply smirks at the devil on his way out the door. Fingers crossed his older brother takes his own advice before Chloe finds a nice prophet of her own . . . or a man that literally looks like Superman as Dean so helpfully put it. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why my brain has decided to focus on this particular combo again but here we are. Technically, an AU of my current crossover series where Lucifer and Cas reunite much sooner, and Lucy gets a chance to at least try to play matchmaker with minimal success. All you really need to know is that angels can universe hop, but it's frowned upon. Lucy only recently learned how to do it because otherwise being able to hop dimensions invalidates problems he has with his Mum in Season Two. This takes place roughly in Season Three of Lucifer just before he and Pierce do the fake married thing that Supernatural was too much of a coward to do. I don't know why it never occurred that he wouldn't have his Devil Face at this point despite it being the primary reason he's acting out in the first place. Also, happens to be why he's like yeah show your wings off lil bro that will show the old man. >:)
> 
> For Supernatural, early season seven before Cas essentially gets kidnapped by Meg maybe? That's the impression I get anyway. XD I ended up fudging up the timeline a little by including an iconic scene from season 8 that I thought happened in season six for some reason, but it's too pivotal to the story to remove. Also, Meg's Cas's first kiss so whoops. Could have avoided that one, but I decided Cas and Dean needed to smooch and happened not to catch my mistake at the time. At this point, I'm tired of looking at it. So, let's just pretend it makes sense. Also, Cas deserves to have fun and sing Queen songs. So, I apologize for nothing.


End file.
